What if we set aside our stories for just a moment or two?
Dear friends,
So often we get wrapped up in the stories we tell ourselves. You know the ones—big and grand, small and hurtful, or even the hum of little thoughts filling our days—raising our spirits, weighing us down, or something more subtle in-between. But when we hold on too tightly, or get caught in this sticky web of our own making, we forget the simple, unadorned life that’s happening right here… right now.
But what if, just for a breath, we set those stories aside? I am not suggesting we throw those thoughts away, or ignore every problem that arises. This is simply an inquiry and invitation. What if we gently lay our thoughts and preferences aside for a moment, setting them down beside us? What if, in their absence, we simply take in the view? And allow ourselves a pause—to let the world in, just as it is in this very moment? Like resting by the side of the road, setting down our heavy load.
In that pause, something beautiful can open. The heart can soften. The senses can come alive. And a world of wonder is right here, ever ready to meet us.
Just relax your mind. Loosen your grasp. Let the stories fall away.
Let this very moment pour into your senses. Pull back the curtain. Let the color of life be revealed.
A Closing Reflection
Remember, the stories will always return. That’s just the way of the mind. But you don’t have to be tangled in them all the time. You can set them down again—anytime, over and over. And in doing so, you may discover something simple and precious: the freedom of just being here, right now, in this very moment, meeting life just as it is.
What if mindfulness was far more than just “a practice”?
For many of us, the very idea of “doing mindfulness” can sound like a chore. It’s something you do—a practice of meditation, a rigid routine, or a skill you have to master. It’s an extra item on an already full to-do list, and it often comes with a secret fear that “I’m not good at this.” Plus there is likely confusion about the idea of “Mindfulness as Verb and Noun.”
But what if mindfulness isn’t just a “verb”? What if its greatest power lies in the “noun” side of the coin—the side that reveals your natural state of relaxed being, and gentle awareness?
That’s the simple idea behind: The Swinging Door of Mindfulness
Let’s take a closer look at this concept of Mindfulness as Verb and Noun:
The act of mindfulness (the verb): Is simply the gentle nudge of the door. This is the familiar practice—the intentional act of focusing on your breath, observing a sensation, or practicing a short guided meditation. These are the tools that build your capacity for relaxed calm and mental resilience.
The state of mindfulness (the noun): Is the relaxed openness and simple, spacious awareness that the door opens to—like a window opening to the fresh air. It’s a natural state that is already present, just waiting to be recognized. As the Zen master Shunryu Suzuki described, when we think “I breathe,” the “I” is extra; the reality is simply “breathing”. The “noun” aspect is the big benefit and power of mindfulness. This is where our simple or even-child-like state of being (basic awareness) ), where the “doer” simply merges into the effortless flow of the present moment. Your sense of “self” isn’t destroyed; rather, this experience reveals a broader understanding and experience of interconnectedness, and is in keeping with contemporary science and research on this topic.
So, what’s in this for you? Let’s explore.
Why The Mindfulness as Verb and Noun Matters for You
For seniors in particular, and actually anyone at all, this perspective changes everything. It reframes mindfulness from a rigid, demanding obligation into a gentle, accessible, and deeply personal tool.
It frees you from the burden of perfection. You don’t have to worry about getting it “right” or meditating for a certain amount of time. Even one conscious breath can be enough to taste this state of simply being and gentle open awareness.
It offers an antidote to stress and overthinking. Your mind is not something to be controlled or emptied. The goal is to simply relax into a natural state of awareness, letting thoughts and worries arise and fall away like passing clouds.
It gives credibility and confidence to your experience. This isn’t just a new-age concept; it’s a deep truth found in traditions from Zen to Christian mysticism, and supported by modern neuroscience.
Want to learn more?
You are invited to learn more about the M4S approach in my full research document, where I break down this concept in detail. The accompanying audio podcast file provides a short discussion on the topic.
I’m in my seventh decade of an amazing life, and like many of you, I’ve noticed things shifting. Our bodies change, our social connections may evolve, and our sense of purpose can sometimes need a gentle realignment. This is a normal part of the journey, but it can also feel overwhelming and anxiety-producing at times. That’s why I want to share a simple, practical approach to mindfulness that has helped me, and might be able to help you too.
Mindfulness isn’t some complicated or “out there” thing you have to force yourself to do. It’s simply meeting life as it is, living our lives fully, but without getting carried away by our worries and upsets. It’s about shifting to a more relaxed approach where we can engage with the world with a bit more ease, calm, and grace.
Mindfulness has always been a wisdom-driven tool, but over the last several decades, it has evolved into something much more flexible and relevant to modern life. At Mindfulness for Seniors, I’ve taken that flexible approach one step further and created a tailored and targeted Simple Mindfulness for Seniors approach.
So, what’s in this toolkit for you? Let’s explore.
A Proven, Research-Backed Way to Feel Better, Mentally and Emotionally
You might be surprised by the benefits that even a little bit of simple and gentle mindfulness can bring to how you feel inside.
Changing Our Relationship to Stress and Worry: The biggest gift of mindfulness is realizing that our inner voice of worry and anxiety doesn’t have to be in charge. Mindfulness gives us a simple way to pause and reset when life feels overwhelming. Many studies show that seniors often report feeling calmer and better able to manage daily stresses and anxieties.
The Potential for a Brighter and Lighter Mood: By inviting more appreciation into our lives and expanding our experience of the many things to be grateful for, mindfulness can help lift our mood and alleviate feelings of isolation and long-term sadness. We can even find ourselves feeling more at ease and joyful, even when life gets messy.
Improved Relationships and Deeper Connections: Our relationships are important, and for some, they mean everything. When we bring a mindful approach to our interactions, we might find ourselves experiencing greater empathy, improving communication, and feeling more satisfied in all our connections, especially with family and friends.
Keeping Our Minds Sharp and Engaged
Maintaining mental clarity is a top priority for many of us seniors. Mindfulness is a wonderful tool for keeping your mind nimble and active.
Sharper Focus and Clarity: Regular, simple mindfulness engagement, even using an as-needed or on-demand strategy, can be like a gentle workout for your brain. It helps improve our memory, concentration, and ability to think clearly and allows us to clear out many of the mental cobwebs and habitual thinking patterns that may no longer serve us.
A Lifelong Skill for Brain Health That Can Even Be Fun: Research suggests that nurturing your mind with mindfulness may even help maintain cognitive function as we age. But it doesn’t stop there. Many new researchers and even mindfulness teachers now fully proclaim the benefits of hobbies, crossword puzzles, Sudoku, playing Bridge, and more… All as extensions of a “mindfulness strategy” for supporting brain health. And who says Mindfulness needs to be “serious” without any fun? Certainly not me!
Practical Benefits for Your Body and Safety
Mindfulness isn’t just for your mind; it’s for our whole life. It can bring very real, tangible benefits to our physical well-being too! And yes, senior health research has found that mindfulness can help here too!
Sleep Better, Feel Rested: If sleep feels elusive, mindfulness can be a game-changer. It helps calm our bodies and minds, leading to more restful nights and combating insomnia. Many seniors report falling asleep faster and sleeping more soundly. And even if the mind kicks back in or return to sleep doesn’t come easily, a well-grounded familiarity with simple breathing and body scan techniques can help us to deeply and fully relax, which of course, also helps us to sleep.
Manage Discomfort and Find Your Balance: This is a big one. Mindfulness has been shown to help with chronic pain by changing our relationship with it. While the pain and discomfort will often still be present, mindful techniques can shift our relationship to pain, reduce our pain reactivity, and even help other pain interventions be more successful. And for movement, mindfulness techniques, especially those with gentle mindful movements or simply mindful walking (even with assistive devices), can improve balance, improve our awareness of our environments, and reduce the risk of falls. This is a major benefit for maintaining our independence with confidence and poise.
Your Personal Toolkit: Easy Ways to Start
The beauty of the M4S approach is that there’s no right or wrong way to do it, and formal meditation is absolutely not required. All you need is a genuine willingness to try. Here are some of our favorite, and actually, most effective and simple things you can try (You can also download our free and newly expanded “A Taste of Mindfulness for Seniors“… And no email required!).
Just One Breath: Feeling rattled? Take one long, conscious breath. That’s a mindful moment. That can be enough! (And if it isn’t, just do it again until you can reclaim your calm).
Mindful Walking: As you walk to the mailbox or around the house, simply notice the feeling of your feet on the ground, the shifting of your balance, the sounds around you, or your feet coming in contact with the ground.
Savoring the Small Things: You can turn any ordinary activity into a mindful one. Really taste that cup of coffee (especially that first sip!). Fully listen to a song you love. Enjoy the warmth of the sun on your skin, or smell that fragrant rose or other plant when you walk past.
Mindful Music: Play some of your favorite calming music, truly focusing on the melodies and the feelings they bring you.
Gratitude Journaling: Write down things you’re grateful for each day, both minor and the big things too. This simple practice can gently shift your focus to positivity. (Sometimes, though maybe not easy, we can also learn to be grateful for life’s challenges. Why? Because they are the fire that forges the tools to build our resilience).
Mindfulness is a wonderful, easy, flexible, and life-centric tool that you can shape to your needs and preferences… not the other way around. By embracing even these small “micro-mindfulness” moments and mini-strategies, you’re paving a path toward a life with greater ease, joy, contentment, and a richer sense of well-being. And it’s never too late to start!
In this candid conversation, Mindfulness for Seniors founder Blair O’Neil sits down with our dialogue partner, Lisa. In their conversation, they explore the deeply personal topic of living with chronic pain. He recounts his story of the life-altering accident that reshaped his world. and the gradual, mindful journey of shifting from a state of war with his body to a new relationship built on adaptation, acceptance, and grace.
Lisa: Hello, and welcome. Blair, thank you for being willing to explore this sensitive subject with us today. To start, I know this is a deeply personal topic for you. Could you take us back and share the story of how chronic pain first became a significant part of your life?
The story behind the pain…
Blair: Hi Lisa. Yes, it is a memory for sure, but not one that I identify with like I used to. This is the story of ‘me’ at the age of 30, coming home one night when I had a head-on collision with a drunk driver. I like to quip that my life was BC and AC—Before Crash and After Crash. It was a significant point in my life that shifted everything, from a carefree, energetic person to someone who now had to rebuild their physicality, their mental ability, and reinvent themselves. It was and has been a long and arduous path.
Lisa: Thank you for sharing that. It sounds like an immense amount of pressure. Can you take us into that time of recovery? What was the internal experience like, feeling trapped in a body that was suddenly so limited?
A deep reckoning…
Blair: Looking back, it was incredibly frustrating because I was a very active, fit young man at the peak of my physical prowess. I went from what seemed like boundless opportunity to something much more closed off. It was a deep reckoning of a life that I dreamed of being shattered. It wasn’t feasible anymore, and I had to literally reinvent myself. I had to manage not only the pain and discomfort (and undiagnosed PTSD) that was now a part of my life, and it took decades to really come to terms with it all. It was, and still is to some extent, a work in progress.
Lisa: It sounds like there was this constant struggle. You described a moment, or perhaps a gradual realization, where your perspective on this struggle began to shift. Can you talk about that turning point?
The shift: From fighting to accepting and working with life as it is…
Blair: It wasn’t like there was a single breakthrough moment…It was more of an experience-by-experience meeting of the challenge that, over time, led to my shift. Before the accident, I raced bicycles, which is where I think I got my “grit and determination” from. So with the injuries I now had, it was clear that “just powering through” the recovery would need to be more nuanced. Yes, I would still need to make efforts… But I also needed to pay attention to my physical and also my mental states.
Eventually, there was a surrendering, not a “giving up,” but more of an acknowledgment of the experience of limitations and discomfort.
It was like my body would make a move in a game of chess, and I would have to respond. The more I chose to play the victim role, the more I suffered. What I began to intuitively understand was that if I took the situation and faced it and started to investigate it, I was more able to come up with adaptive solutions.
Lisa: That’s a beautiful and insightful distinction. It’s not about raising the white flag, but acknowledging the reality of the board and strategizing your next move. How did this profound change in your relationship with the pain affect your daily life?
The journey continues to this day…
Blair: Although I would say that while the mental deficits are 99% resolved (though my friends might jokingly disagree), many physical challenges remain. Being mindful of my limits and the experience of those limits, every day is a key element to my ability to stay on track. I am no longer fighting it; I am working with it, strategizing with it, embracing it.
While some days are much more difficult than others, the process is a daily dance. By moving with it, much like a surfer works with the waves, I have been able to navigate the challenges (sometimes more successfully than others) and move on, hopefully with some degree of grace, contentment, and mental calm… I would even go so far as to say that despite the challenges, there is a deeper gratitude for the life I’ve been given.
Lisa: Blair, thank you for that incredibly honest reflection. It’s a wonderful and empowering note to end on.
